I grew up in Pakistan as a devout practicing Muslim, with devout Muslim parents. I used to be ill and bed-ridden most of the time as a child and ponder upon God and pray to him. I often wandered if God could feel or even understand my pain because he is not a human? I even had a dream one night in which Allah appeared to me in a form of a 100% God- 100% man comforting me by my bedside. I think the Lord was preparing me to accept Jesus one day, who did came as a man to suffer our pain.

Shamim Although I was not supposed to question my religion, there were a lot of things that bothered me as Muslim about Allah and Islam’s prophet Mohammad. For instance, Mohammed’s looting caravans and going to wars and afterwards distributing women amongst themselves as booty. He justified looting and murdering non-Muslims and marrying their wives as an act of mercy. It bothered me that Mohammad had 23 wives and two concubines,

In 1987, my marriage was arranged to my second cousin whom I had never met before and came to the USA with him. The Lord used it to allow me to get out Pakistan. My husband was very abusive to me both physically and emotionally. I lived with him for almost 10 years, and had three children with him.

In 1996, my atheist brother gave me a book called, Why I am Not a Muslim in the hope of converting me atheism. Since I like to take challenges, I gladly started reading the book right away so that I can refute everything in it. The author, Ibn-Waraq, provides details about the facts I already knew about Islam such as Aisha’s marriage with Mohammad. Aisha was 6 years old, when Mohammad came to her mother’s house. Aisha was on a swing, and Mohammed liked her, and asked her mother to give her to him. Her mother picked up little Aisha and put her in Mohammed’s lap. He took her home and made her his youngest wife.

At the time I read about Aisha, I looked at my 6 year old daughter, providentially also named Aisha. I thought “ if Mohammed would ask me if he could marry my 6 year old daughter I would kill him.” Mohammad started to seem disgusting. However, I still believed in God, but I believed that I cannot know God on my own. I knew, as a Muslim, that Jesus never died and He is alive in heaven. Therefore, I started praying to Jesus.

My prayers were answered like miracles. The first thing that I asked Jesus, with tears, was to help me get rid of my cruel Muslim husband. Amazingly, that night my husband did not come home from work. He had left me. Excited, I called the Church of Christ office to arrange a meeting with their pastor to know more about this Jesus. I started praying for everything, and the Lord would quickly answer my prayers, every time.

However, that pastor told me that prayers are not answered that quickly. These are just coincidences. When I heard this, I thought maybe he was right and maybe they are coincidences. I became an atheist for two years. I was left in the hands of Satan to do with me as he pleased. Everything started going wrong in my life.

I had gone back to school after my husband left me. In 1999, I was a philosophy student studying epistemology at that time and I had started rethinking about the existence of God once again. One day, driving home from school, I was listening to Hindi songs on a Pakistani radio program. A Muslim host of the program said: “This is the Islamic holy month, let's stop the music and pray to Allah.”

I immediately turned off the radio and thought that this is what I needed, God. While driving streams of tears ran through my cheeks as I prayed to Jesus once more: “My God, please forgive me for denying you. I cannot do anything without you. My life is a total mess. If you will not forgive me, I would certainly die. My enemies are after me to devour me.

Please help me. Take over my life and use me as you please. I give myself completely to you. If you forgive me and help me I will never leave you because I know I cannot do anything without you. In the name of Jesus I pray.” What I did not know at this time was that this dramatic conversion was an act of the Holy Spirit changing my heart and witnessing to Jesus. The Holy Spirit Himself led me to Jesus at that moment.

I went back to the same Church. But this time I was there to stay. I was baptized in May of 2000. However, I had not realized that Jesus was God. At the time of my baptism, the minister asked me if I believed that Jesus was the Son of God. I was shocked at the question. A blasphemy, I thought. But I was dipped anyway. The Lord put his seal upon me whether I understood it or not.

That night I had a dream. I was prostrating to Christ, and my forehead was in His feet and I was worshiping Him. He held my right hand so tenderly that I insisted that he held my other hand too. He did. Then I got up, and I was kind of flying a few inches above the ground instead walking, as if I was being led by God towards Him. After that dream, the Holy Spirit came as a surprise. It was not just a feeling, or conscience. It was a real presence of God within me, and His very obvious guidance to me. I was not the same person anymore.

The most difficult thing in the first two years of my Christian life was that I could not accept that Jesus was God; one God could be three persons did not logically make sense to me. I continued reading books, such as: A Severe Mercy, Surprised by Joy, the Trinitate, Calvin's Institute, and I continued to pray to Jesus to help me understand Him. I read the whole Bible, and finally in the Book of John, and in Isaiah, I could see that the scripture points to the divinity of Jesus. It does not mention the word Trinity, but the whole scripture is full of talking about Trinity.

The whole book of John talks about the divinity of Jesus and how Jesus shared the Glory of God from all eternity. I was amazed how Isaiah prophesies about Jesus in great detail about his birth, death and resurrection. He is obviously pointing to Jesus as being God. Isaiah 9:6 calls this son mighty God. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

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