Love is not the same as insecure attachment, lust, out of selfish motives, and sentimental garbage.

I learned that love is sometimes not always romantic and perfect as portrayed in the popular movies, romance novels and tales. In fact a lot of the love stories out there are actually shallow, sentimental garbage. My favorite romance movie of all time is actually Forrest Gump. I felt that themes of grace, redemption, patience, sacrificial love were beautifully illustrated.

I don't believe in "love at first sight" or the idea that love just happens. No, true love takes time to develop and that could mean years. My idea of love is that there is a guy I'm intially attracted to and maybe he feels the same way towards me. We start to get to know each other and maybe go on dates or spend time together. At first, I'd like him to get to know me as friend and for the real person I am - including my strengths, weaknesses, flaws, interests, passions and what I have to offer. Likewise, I want to know all these things about him too. We should be able to relate to each other as though we are best friends. From there it may progress to something more. And even if things don't work, we still have mutual respect towards each other.

My views of love has dramatically changed. It's as though all the sudden, I'm not having romanticized, unrealistic thoughts of love as I used to. It's better to wait.

Indu Shanmugam