My Junior Year of College
- By Indu Shanmugam
- Published 09/28/2006
Indu Shanmugam is a 20-something, college student from Oregon, USA. She is majoring in English literature and language. She also studied Theology for a short period. She wants to be a teacher. As a literature enthusiast, she enjoys literature of all types and from writers of various backgrounds from the classics, French realists, Christian writings like C.S Lewis and South Asian literature. As for her own writings, "I am still trying to find and develop my own voice." She sees the art of the written word as a way to speak about Christ and explore truth. Before she met Jesus Christ, she has been searching for the meaning of life through experimentation of other religions, philosophies and ideas. At the age of 17, she accepted Christ after a powerful encounter with God through a miracle. God's presence and deep truths in the Bible fuel her creativity. She is involved in church activities and has a love for the church and would like to see every believer grow, become closer to God and live fruitfully. She loves traveling, sipping bubble teas, theatre, music, films and hanging out with friends and has a weakness for cheesecake.
I can't believe it. I am graduating from school in a year and a half. Fear and doubt grip my throat as I enter Junior year of college. It's only been 4 weeks and I am already getting burned out. Graduation requirements, Exams, papers approach me at once.
I want to make a good impression on my intimidating professors. I have two professors this term who are so intimidating, I am actually scared to ask them questions or talk to them. I feel so dumb when I am next to them. They are impressively intelligent and have such a authoritative presence. When a professor like that gives me a good grade, I feel so great about myself and abilities. But, if I fail one of their classes, I feel so depressed.
I keep feeling that I am not on top of everything even though I have been spending several nights on homework. The two classes that stress me out the most is EDU 260 Instructional Strategies and ENG 331 British Literature II. My practicum and student teaching nearly makes me nervous. I wonder if I can make it.
At least, I am relieved to know I am not the only Junior Education major about to pull my hair out. For instructional strategies, I was in a group project and I realized there are others going through the exact same thing.
I guess, this is typical college stress mixed with thoughts of whether I can survive in the real world, maybe going to grad school and if I can find a job after I graduate.
The best thing is to lay it all in God's hands who holds my future and my life. I was venting this to Pastor Orlie, our campus pastor. I had a nice chat with him, he has such a comforting presence and told me not to worry.