A grudge afects everyone emotionally and physically. This article will show you what to do when you get hurt.

Can you think of someone who has hurt you so badly that you are finding it really hard to let go of the pain or grudge? As we go through life we all have to deal with feelings of anger, resentment or bitterness when people hurt us.

Grudges affect us all physically and emotionally 

Tracey’s first husband beat her every time he got drunk. After four years of abuse, she left him and got divorced. On a weekend the children were staying with their father, he crashed the car and killed their eldest daughter. Tracey’s bitterness turned to hate! 

Not only had this taken an obvious and dramatic toll on Tracey’s emotional well-being, it affected her physical well-being. A friend told Tracey that her hatred and bitterness from the past was robbing her of happiness. Tracey struggled with forgiving herself and her divorced husband until she received Jesus’ forgiveness.

Jesus' forgiveness holds the promise of peace of mind.  The Bible says, "If we confess our sins...he (Jesus) will cleanse us from all the wrong we have done." 1 John chapter 1verse 9. 

As Tracey watched the movie ‘The Passion of the Christ’ she was greatly moved to learn that Jesus suffered and died in order for her to have her sins removed. The Bible tells us that Jesus' forgiveness is received as a gift. When a gift is offered to you it becomes yours when you reach out and take hold of it. Tracey took hold of and received Jesus’ forgiveness when she asked him to forgive her of her sins. At that point Tracey was released from her sins.  She’d been forgiven of her sins, and now it was easier to forgive her former husband and gain the peace of mind Jesus promised. 

Forgiveness releases you

When Tracey received Jesus’ forgiveness and released herself and former husband in forgiveness, she was healed emotionally and physically.

In the Bible Jesus said: “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37. The literal translation of this Bible verse is ‘release and you will be released’.

If you really forgive someone, you no longer blame that person, even though they may be guilty of that sin. If you do not blame a person, you cannot resent them. If you do not resent them you cannot hold any bitterness in your heart. If you do not hold bitterness then you do not get all emotionally tied up with anger and hate towards that person. If you do not hate then you do not stay emotionally and physically bound with illnesses!

Forgiveness is a choice

In Biblical terms, forgiveness is the loving, voluntary cancellation of a debt. It is like when someone ‘owes’ you, but you choose to cancel the debt. Matthew 18:24-43. 

It does not matter how long ago the hurtful event occurred, how wrong they are or how many times we are hurt. The Bible says we must forgive them so God can bless and forgive us. “If you forgive others their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you your sins.”

Do not use the excuse that you are waiting until you feel like forgiving – it will probably never happen. It only hurts you if you continue to let your emotions rule your life. Forgiveness is a choice!  It doesn't matter how you spell forgiveness, whether it be forgivness or forgivenes, the fact remains, forgiveness is a choice!

Forgiveness is responding to evil with good

If we really want to love, we must forgive for God's instruction book says, "Love keeps no records of wrong." 1 Corinthians 15:5b.

The ultimate test of love is to bless and do good to the one who has hurt you. God does not instruct us to do this just to make it hard for us.  He tells us to bless those who have hurt us so that we will receive a blessing.

"Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult. But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9.  

To bless someone, start by wishing him or her well. It is one of the hardest things to do, but it works! Many have found it helpful to pray this prayer out loud.

Forgiveness Prayer For Easy Recovery

Heavenly Father you are kind and forgiving, and you always love me. Help me to love others with the same love that you have shown me. I take responsibility for holding a grudge and not forgiving others as you have forgiven me. Please forgive me.

Help me to obey you by forgiving those who have hurt me. I choose now to forgive the wrong and hurt that has been done to me. I forgive (name individuals, including yourself if necessary) for (list the things they did to you) and I no longer blame them for doing this to me.

Release me from any resentment, bitterness, anger or hate I have held inside. Father, as you have promised in your Word, please heal my wounded heart. I choose now to show mercy to those who have offended me and ask that you will bless (name individuals) in all that they do. 

Additional reading: Do you have a grudge? Psalm 86:5, Romans 5:5, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Psalm 147:3, Luke 6:27, 1 Peter 3:9. Courtesy: Your Destiny, Your Choice

The Christian Messenger