so what's been up in the life of ty? nothing much, i'm still lovin' work- almost as much as justin timberlake loves McDonalds, but then again it's only been a week since my last post and i haven't done anything absurdly terrible for me to be in fear of not surviving probation....

between work and home i've been spending a lot of time by myself, it's like that redundantly boring but wholly truthful saying "i'm surrounded by people, but i'm all alone"- and i'm not entirely sure if i like being at this place, but i don't hate it.... my birthday's coming up in a few days, and i don't really want to do anything, no dinner, no movie, i just want to spend a day by myself doing my own thing, not answering my phone, going in and out of used book stores and getting lost in someone elses stories.

it's not that i wanted to post something up today, and i really shouldn't be it's nearly 11 and i need to be getting to sleep if i'm going to be even vaguely pleasant tomorrow... my fingers hit the keyboard and it felt natural for me to be typing so i'm typing, not so much thinking just typing, and i'm remembering my days in grade 6 where my teacher had the class write letters to ourselves at the beginning of the year, stream of consciousness like, after we wrote them we sealed them up and didn't get them back till the end of the year, on the last day of class...

i remember crumbling mine up and throwing it away... not that i regret it, but i realize it's a "habit" i have of not reading stuff that i've written in the past... for some reason inexplicable to me, i become embarrased and feel the insesant need to ask myself "why'd you write that", and then go into the belittling endeavor of making myself feel anything less than what i felt like before reading whatever i wrote.

memories, don't you wish you could run a virus scan through your brain sometimes and get rid of those awful memories? i want to get rid of the ones that make me feel embarrased... i've been interrupted... the joys of living with your parents! i've lost my will to continue writing.... for today... sleep and then work.