I dream. I believe. I desire. I see. I dream of great things untold. I believe for things that I think for most would be unimaginable. I desire to see God’s kingdom realized in places in the world where it has not been realized. I see the nations worshiping God alone.

With all that is within me, the dreams that God has put into my heart has kept me going further. With all I believe for I honestly have to believe that God will come through, because it’s impossible without His empowering. With all that I desire, I can never do it on my own strength, because it is God’s doing and not my own. With everything that I see with my spiritual eyes, I can only do so when I remain in relationship with Jesus.

Yet with all that a life of dreaming, believing, desiring, and seeing entails, the greatest call for me as the individual is to constantly ask myself why I want to do the things I want to do. Am I doing this so I can be considered great in the kingdom? Or do I consider myself a servant and willing vessel for the Lord to work with?

Sometimes I desire to do things for God because I want to be somebody great in the kingdom, not because I love people and truly want to see God’s hand. In this respect I sometimes am a Jonah. I want to be used by God and I want to see God’s hand working upon people, but I sometimes get a bad attitude when I’m not the focus of what happens. The result is that I am all too self-centered and self-focused.

    If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.
    I John 1:8-10

Asking and believing for things is actually something that God has put into each and everyone of us. When our asking and believing and dreaming become our own and not God’s we revert to pride. Pride is the folly of the ages. It threw Lucifer from Heaven, and kept Adam and Eve out of the Garden. Sometimes in my zeal I have reverted to a pious pride. I want to do great things for God, and yet if I truly ask myself why I want to do them, I sometimes catch myself and realize that this was an Ashish-idea and not a God-idea.
Living Broken

We counter an attitude of pride, whether blatant or subtle with the understanding that we truly are broken vessels before the Lord. The shepherd will continue to break the sheep’s feet until the sheep listens and obeys. For some of us we walk with a limp that is seen by those around us. Take for example Jacob, or David. You could further see this brokenness in Christ Himself, when He proclaimed to the Father, “not my will but yours be done.”

The life of a Christ-follower is a broken one. If it be anything else, it is not true. Christ has called us to live this way. We are called to live in humility and brokenness. David proclaims this…

    You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
    Psalms 51:16,17

The Lord is not after what we can do for Him, rather He is after us realizing that it’s all about relationship and realizing that, “with God all things work together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Sometimes we desire to do great things for God without understanding that the greatest thing we can do for God is willingly offer ourselves in our brokenness and desperation to Him.

You see when something’s broken it requires greater care and attention. When we are broken it brings us closer to the touch and leading of the Holy Spirit. It forces us to live desperately before the Father. When we are broken, we rely upon God’s grace to keep us and shape us.
Living Hidden

    Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
    Matthew 6:1-4

It’s amazing to think about what Jesus is saying here. He’s telling the disciples to not do their ‘acts of righteousness’ before men. It’s interesting to think about, because in the previous chapter Jesus tells them that they are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. It seems to me that what Jesus is calling them to is truly a visible life of following Christ. Jesus has not called them to hide everything they do from the public eye.

Rather what Jesus says is this, “do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do.” You know with life I have to say that I enjoy telling people about all the good things that I’ve done. I enjoy being in the spotlight after having done the right thing at the opportune time and people looking at me saying “good job” or “well done.” What Jesus is saying here is that as Christ-followers, we must be so used to doing good and and doing the right thing that it becomes second nature to us. When we do something out of the ordinary we prompt attention to ourselves.

Another thing that Jesus says is, “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” I’ve met very few people who truly live this out. There are three kinds of people when it comes to doing anything for people usually. The first group have no sympathy and no desire to do anything for anybody else. They can be considered self-centered individuals who are in it for themselves. Then there are those who feel they need to help but in doing so, they desire to find some sort of approval from people; they also want to feel good about themselves.

These kinds of people proclaim their good works. There is another class of people who usually are so used to giving and so used to helping that they don’t even think about it anymore. They do not personally reflect upon their good works. Their left hand truly does not know what their right hand is doing. They are caught up in the journey of helping others that they forget about all the great things they did themselves. They are not focused on themselves because they are so caught up in following Christ. I believe this is truly what that verse means.

The Christ-following life is a life of hiddenness. It is a life where our dreams and our passions are so God-ordained, that everything we do becomes a reflection of who Christ is first and foremost. Dreams and aspirations become God’s first and we become servants who bring that God-dream and God-desire to pass. We become the vessel. A broken one at that.
So Keep Dreaming

So in conclusion, I believe that we need to dream great dreams, we need to desire God’s hand working in and through our lives, we need to believe that we exist to be salt and light, and we need to see how much it’s about God and not about us. We need to believe for the greatest and best and brightest. The key here is that what we dream and believe for, should not be about us but, about what Christ already wants to do through us. We are called to live broken and hidden in this life, as we follow our Master Jesus.

I Am Ashish Joy