I think a week of being away was enough... actually, I got to thinking after reading a post on Ashish's blog. He was discussing the purpose of writing as art, expression, a help to others, etc. And I kinda realized what I'd always known in the back of my mind: I don't write for anyone. I write for myself. Is that selfish? Maybe. I guess I don't care. I mean, I have posted stuff in the past that came out of personal experience but were written for an audience. For the most part, I just write as a way to express myself, to log a memory, and turn thoughts into words and perhaps make sense of them in the process... Mia's right. I'm probably going to regret it if I don't keep up this blog even when things aren't all wonderful and good, not for anyone else's sake but my own. So having said all that...

1. The other day, went to Chopatty and had absolutely delicious pani puri, bhel puri, dahi batata puri, etc. Of course, nothing beats the Bombay original but it was really good.

2. Was at my cousin's house today. She's in grade 12 and has a research paper due this week. I practically wrote the thing out for her without even having read the main piece. She'll have to fill in the quotes and stuff but honestly, I kinda surprised myself. Even came up with a decent introduction and three solid body paragraphs. It's a wonder what I can do when there's no pressure to succeed.

3. My new phone continues to amaze me... I have a program for editing music, videos, sound clips, photos, etc. along with an mp3 player, radio, and the regular... and, get this, a fitness program!!

4. Ginny Owens' lyrics offer hope: "There's a bigger picture you can't see. You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me. Cuz I am your Creator, I am working out My plan. And through you I will show them I AM..."

5. When I was younger, much younger, I wanted to be a teacher. I've always been pretty good at teaching. I was a teacher's aid at a nearby elementary school for one semester when I was in high school. And one day, the teacher was busy and I had charge of the 3rd and 4th graders and had to take them down the hall to put their projects into a display case. One boy in particular was acting up--talking loudly and pushing the kid in front of him. I tried to shush him but to no avail. A little girl pipes up bravely and says to him, "Shh! We have to listen to her (me), she's a adult!" And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh boy! How pathetic am I that I need a kid to take my side!" The boy looks me up and down and laughs "We don't need to listen to her, she's just a kid." He was referring to my height. At a meager 5ft, he didn't see me as an authority figure. I managed to get the job done and the kids back to class in with my dignity intact but I decided I didn't want to be a teacher anymore. Now, I'm wondering if I was too hasty with my decision...

6. Life's a little weird right now. I had the most amazing summer and it's like the crash after an insane high. Painful and overwhelming and utterly depressing. It doesn't help that I have nothing to keep myself busy with, neither am I motivated to find something...

7. It's been three years since my Dad went to Heaven but I don't think there's been a day when I haven't wished he were still here...

    The pathway is broken
    And the signs are unclear
    And I don't know the reason
    Why You brought me here
    But just because You love me the way that You do
    I'm gonna walk through the valley
    If You want me to

    Cause I'm not who I was
    When I took my first step
    And I'm clinging to the promise
    You're not through with me yet
    So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
    Then I will go through the fire
    If You want me to

    It may not be the way I would have chosen
    When You lead me through a world that's not my home
    But You never said it would be easy
    You only said I'd never go alone

    So when the whole world turns against me
    And I'm all by myself
    And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
    I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
    And I will go through the valley
    If You want me to

The lyrics are from "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens.

Still blogging,

Beni