As a senior citizen from Kerala, it is very interesting to read your experience. It is very painful for the young generations to
be in between the sea and devil. The sea of tradition on the one hand, and modern indepedent thinking of the young generation on the other hand.

When I went to India in 1974 after staying in the the U.S., after
three years of studies, indeed in those days, life was nothing but a total misery. No Indian food, extreme cold climate, lack of money, racial discrimination etc etc, after the suffering what
I experienced from my relatives were nothing but criticisms. I had a mustache, didn't use hair oils, hair was a lit bit longer, and I didn't take a lot of money with me. How a student can have money to take with him? So, they all had enought bullents to shot at me exactly to the forehead.

Before reaching home, I had a ton of smart and intelligent advice
from the elders, how to take care of my prsonal needs. Then the
marriage issue, mother's side pulled me from side, father pulled me from another side, father's relatives did their part to torment
me with the greatest of ego and foolish pride. Indeed, I was choked to death with berating statements, that so and so went to the U. S. and bought all the properties, married from that family
who is a Medical Doctor. My saintly mother never bothered me, she was with me, but the majority won the fight, and even today I
pay the price for not having my own mind to make the decision.

Some people are born with the assumption that they are very smart to tell others, how to live. I would like to advise the young generation not to listen all the great advices of their parents or
relatives, because they think through the old tradition, and most of them with a lot of their self-centered vested interests.

Our friends went through a lot of pain. Their only one son was so
brilliant in English literature, got scholarship to study in England but his father was adamant that his son must be a Doctor.
They never communicated very often, father got sick and died. When mother came from India, she saw the dead body of her son who committted suicide, and the innocent mother had to
suffer a lot pain in her life. I am living in the U.S. for 37 years, may I request the parents to give freedom to your children
in selecting the career they would prefer. God, who has given mouth will supply the needs. Having a fat salary and bank balance
won't guarantee happiness, but a house with love and happiness will be a small heaven on earth. We parents, out of our love for
fame and material stablity put our children to take a heavy burden

which they are not prepared to carry. Stop finding fault with them, encouage them, don't compare them with the neighbour's children
because God has created everybody so unique. Let them be themselves with their own individuality. Teach them the way of the Lord, humility, manners
etc. It is very dangerious to inject the old ideology to the
new generation.