Yes, I have backslidden but I have not backslidden from our precious Lord Jesus. I love the dear Lord with all my heart. I am closer to God than I have never been and don't want to leave Christ. He is my first love, I am his and He is mine and I want to grow closer to Him.

But I have backslidden & turned away from 'christianity' that is based on "Christian" sub-culture and charismatic church trends rather than the gospel and truth of God sending His begotten son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins.

I am tired and sick of traditions being preached as biblical truth. While in PBC, many people think that it is the catholics, baptists, lutherans and non-charismatics who are lost in tradition. That is such an arrogant lie. We are just as guilty. In my current college, I have met Christians of other denominations who truly love Jesus. Tjat is evident through their actions and words. I am now taking a strong stance against "Christian" culture bubble's stupid non-Bible based ideas. Pharisees exist even in our church.

I am glad that pentecostal charismaticism is going away. I have been reading Dick Iverson's "Maintaining balance when winds of doctrine blow." Only if I read it earlier, I wouldn't be this frustrated. Many things I learned in PBC are BS. This is not about doctrinal things and learning how to study the Bible. I loved all of Lanny Hubbard, Larry Taylor, Larry Asplund's classes on Basic Doctrine and Bible Research. I felt some other classes were not biblically balanced but more focused on promoting CBC'ism rather than truth.

I am awakened and understand truth like no other. Churches will never be perfect. As a Christian, we need to know the difference between traditions, church trends and real biblical truth. And we need to accept other's differences (as long as it doesn't go against the Bible or God). I felt there was no respect for other people. Some people brag about their calling and annointing and yet cannot be nice even to a little old lady.

I am glad that I got out of PBC and in a normal college. I am glad to study humanties and critically look at things including what I believed. I have a sense of truth. Yes, I did doubt God. I was angry at hypocrisy in my own church. I didn't like the fact that I wasn't allowed to ask questions out of genuine interest, had to blindly support and accept ideas without questioning and felt manipulated at times. The worst thing any leader can do to a Christian is take away 'the priesthood of all believers'. I will not blindly submit and accept what I hear. I was young and wanted to live my life right. But, nobody has the right to judge or push their nit-picky 'convictions' on another person.

I know I am being general. I can give many specific examples of what I mean. Really, faith does not mean being ignorant, naive and uninformed or blindly accepting 'truth' without question.

So, I have backslidden from the idol of tradition-based churchism and embraced the real truth tighter than ever. I have never felt closer to Jesus. I feel really free because I understand the root of my frustration.