By Dr. Paul Dhinakaran

My mother quite often used to tell me that I was born as a consolation to my parents at a time when they were in deep sorrow having lost two children due to premature birth, and another one born as a still-born child during the early years of their married life. So my parents had dedicated me to the Lord even in my childhood. Since then, His merciful hands enslaved me.

When I was six years old, the Lord spoke to me through prophecy, "My son Paul! Have you seen a fish swimming in the water? It always cleaves the water and swims forward straight. But see how a crab moves. It can never go straight. It always deviates to one side

and follows a crooked path. Think and decide which of these two kinds of paths you are going to choose. Whether to go straight like a fish as your father does - or like a crab choosing the crooked path. If you choose the straight path of your father, I will bless you in an abundant


Years rolled on. My father, was transferred to Madras and hence we came here. I was then twelve years old. I found a great difference between the lifestyle of my new school friends and that of mine. Those friends gradually side-tracked me. "What is this Paul? You are leading such a boring life!. This is the time when you should enjoy the pleasures of this world. You are simply wasting your life. How is it that you wish to lead a holy and pure life like your parents at such a young age? Just come with us. We will show you how to enjoy

life and you too can share our delightful life!" Their sugar coated words seemed to be full of love and concern for me and they drew me closer to them.

Even though my parents were very strict with me and tried hard to bring me up in the fear of the Lord, I found a pleasure in listening to the words of my friends and began to follow their footsteps in everything so that gradually many evil habits enslaved me.

Very often, I was warned not only by my parents and many elderly people who loved me, but also by our Lord Jesus Himself, through His prophetic messages. Anyway, I was hard-hearted and I could not give up the fleeting pleasures of this world. My mother used to force me to read the Bible everyday, and would keep on reminding me many times a day. This would only kindle my anger and I disliked reading the Bible.

I was also influenced to go against the rules and regulations of the college. So one day the Principal suspended me from college for a few days. My friends encourged me, "Don't worry, Paul! Nothing will happen. The college itself has permitted you to enjoy life by granting you leave for a few days! So go on man, enjoy it to the full!"

My parents were in tears when they came to know of this. "What a painful thing that our son is like this! Many youngsters all over the world are drawn to Jesus in our Gospel meetings. But our son has gone far away from the Lord." They were greatly distressed and troubled. My mother began fasting for me once a week and started prevailing in prayer with tears, without taking any food the whole day. But indifferently I told her, "Your prayers will never bring me to the Lord. I am quite happy, just enjoying the pleasure of this world. What's wrong in it?" But she used to reply, "One day, my Lord will listen to my prayer and He is going to use you doublefold like your father in the ministry." My grandfather used to spend nearly 20 minutes every morning in our daily prayer time pleading with the Lord, "Oh Lord! Save our son, Paul!".

My trouble started: I felt like I was in hell while at home and I greatly disliked all family members. I failed in all the subjects and gradually my sinful habits robbed me of my peace. A strange kind of restlessness filled my mind. The more troubled I was, the deeper I became involved in my sinful habits, trying hard to gain the peace of mind I had lost somewhere. Fear engulfed me and I was filled with terror. I began to doubt everyone. "Oh! with whom shall I share my feelings? My friends can never understand me! How can I ever share this with my parents? I cannot go to my God because I have forsaken him and denied Him completely!. Alas! Is there no hope for me! No future for me?" This fear and terror tormented me. Everything that I did turned out to be a failure. I lamented like this, left alone, feeling dejected and depressed.

At this crucial moment, "Jesus Calls" Institute of Power Ministry training was introduced for the first time. My father asked me to join the first batch of trainees. This special training is meant for only those who wish to do ministry for the Lord. "How can I, who have

not yet come to the Lord, take part in this?" Though this question came up in my mind, I sat in the first row of the trainees just because my father compelled me. Gradually, the messages of the servants of God began to stir me up. One day, my father firmly gave this message, "The

Lord wants to use you mightly. The Lord miraculously proved His word through Elijah by sending down His fire from heaven, and making the entire country fall at his feet declaring 'Elijah's God is our God!' He longs to fill you with the same power." I said to myself, "Oh, I am

longing for this power . That is the real reason that influenced me to become a slave to so many sinful habits - just to be respected by all as someone great! If Jesus can give me this power, I will look up to Him alone from this day onwards!" So I knelt down and pleaded with the Lord

thus, "Jesus please take away this fear and terror from me! I seek peace in mind; kindly make me free from the bond of distress and grant me grace to follow you in my future." I literally cried out to Him in tears. His presence filled me completely and a great peace flooded my

heart. That very night all my sinful habits left me and my style entirely changed and I became a new man in Christ. Since that day everything started to take a new turn in my life.