I had an interesting comversation with a person who asked me "Why don't you want to study Theology more?" I don't want a Theology degree because I feel it hinders me. It has no purpose other than working inside the church world. I would feel confined in a full-time ministry role because I am not made for that. By the way, why should being anointed, called and being an active Christian serving God's kingdom only be limited to clergy or having a formal minister's role?

Technically, I took two years worth of classes just to understand the basics. After that I just dropped out. I do not want to pursue a BA, MA or anything that has to do with theology. I would rather have a so-called "secular" humanities degree. A secular degree does not mean it is less worthwhile to functioning in God's kingdom. In fact, for me I see more possibilities with a secular degree than a Bible College degree. For one thing, I can relate better to the world outside the church walls.

I have no desire to be a pastor's wife or have a full-time minsitry position. I want to be an active Christian in the Kingdom of God. I want to love God, make Him known and serve the needs of hurting people. I want hurting people and those with broken lives to know that there is a God who can heal them just like He has healed me. I desire to fight for social justice and reflect the nature of our God to a broken world. I can do that without being well known or famous.

It's simple as that - Love God and Make Him Known, in our words, action, and attitudes. (Honestly, I haven't got all of it but I try. How many mistakes have I made? But no mistake is past the grace of God.)

I want to be left alone. I hate being persuaded to fit a certain image or mold of a church-person or image of what an ideal leader should be. Why should I talk in 'Christianese' and use big, grandiose theological lingo and terms and allow myself to be something that I am not? I prefer talking about God and life in simple everyday language. I want to be myself - just an ordinary person who experienced the grace of God.

Indu Shanmugam