Happy Valentine's Day! . . . I Can't Just Marry Anyone!
- By Wilson Matthews
- Published 02/14/2008
Wilson is the youth leader at International Punjabi Masihi Church in Vancouver, Canada. Everyone loves this radical preacher's passion for Christ and His Church. Wilson helped organize the South Asian Global Convention (SAGC 2004) under the leadership of Pastor Pritam Singh. He is as "hairy-as-a-yak," "spits-like-a-camel," and is a F.A.T. (Faithful, Available, and Teachable) Christian. Wilson, a Malayalee Christian holds a BA in Biblical Studies from Trinity Western University and his mission is to make Scripture relevant to today's generation. Famous quote: "Knock it off!"
Yes, it is that time of year again. I get to spend quality time sedating my deepest desires with overeating and some romantic comedies and go off into the world of make belief. It can be dangerous if you are there to long. So back to reality. It is VALENTINE'S DAY! Will you be my Valentine? Will you?
I woke up to the sight of the most beautiful woman on earth, my mother! She had that look in her eyes again. It said, "Get your ... married! I'm not getting any younger and I want a daughter in law and grandchildren. No! Let me correct myself! I want a daughter and not a daughter in law! Why don't you get off your .... and vetch me my daughter! NOW!"
"But Momma!" I responded, "I want to but don't know who or where she is yet... I can't just marry anyone! I got this thing called a calling and testimony and I never want to see it compromised with the wrong woman. She'll make or break me. It is not something I can just rush into. We can't be hasty. I have to have a woman of God and not just a Christian woman. There is a difference remember sweetie pie? This is the second most important decision of my life! Let's pray instead and it will happen!"
"No! I'm through with praying! We need action. Action! ACTION!"
So off we go!
Than there is my bud Dav with his legion of children.
"BILSON! You need to get married and stop torturing that poor mother of yours!" He says.
Now, I'm one of those Diaspora South Asians who grew up in a mixture of cultures and have different norms, values and preferences from the older generation. I've learned to love and appreciate and even understand other ethnic groups and cultures. In fact, I'm excited to learn about other people. I've seen much of the world and learned to love all colours, creeds, cultures and languages, and even smells! The Lord has done one thing and that is created all people and nations in His image. And you know what? They are all beautiful!
I'll let you in on a little secret! I really want to mix it up a bit. You know what I mean? Like, mix up with a completely different ethnicity and produce some beautiful children just like Dav and C-Note and many of my close friends. Their children re-define beauty! This is not something most parents are used to. But time can teach people a lot of things…
It is true! The Lord has made the nations beautiful. One time I was in Puerto Rico and saw the most beautiful sight! She had long flowing black hair, olive/golden brown skin like the streets of the New Jerusalem and a Colgate smile. She had the most eloquent accent to match.
"Is this love?" I began to ponder...
Than there was the time I met that other girl. She had flamey red hair like the baptisms of fire. Her eyes were like green emeralds. Her skin was whiter than 12 inches of snow.
"Someone call heaven, I think and angel is missing!" I thought!
But than there was the time we were in Texas. We were at the corner store. Than there she was. Her skin was as dark as charcoal! She had short wavy hair that cascaded above her eyebrows and symmetrical face. She had high cheekbones, a bounce in her step and the most beautiful voice.
"Howdy!" She said... I was speechless...
Then, I was in Singapore. I looked across the lobby at the Concord Hotel. Well what do you know? She had the smoothest complexion with her magenta colour and straight hair and squinted cute eyes. Her smile lit up the whole hotel.
I can go on and on and on but I just want to make one point. The Lord has made all people in his image and they are BEUATIFUL!
I also want to make a disclaimer. I'm just appreciating beauty. This is not in anyway carnal and gratifying the pesky, dirty, sinful nature! I'm just appreciating God's masterpieces! His wonderful art we call creation!
But I also must add another thing. These are all really shallow measures of beauty. These wonderful physical characteristics will fade away of course. The Bible says so.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)
All of these measures are lacking the most important thing! The unfading beauty!
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master." (1 Peter 3:3-6)
Wait there is more! There is the woman of God in Proverbs! YEEE OWEEEE! Read it and weep!
"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
So back to Mom. She grew up in the wonderful world of arranged marriage. You exchange a pic, have one or two conversations and than off to the altar! This seems like absolute insanity if you grew up in the world I'm from.
I feel kind of stuck at times. I'm not into dating and seen all the bad stuff that can bring from my friends experiences. I'm not digging the arranged thing because you don't really know the person. So... what other option is out there? Hmmm.... A miracle and you know what? I'm counting on Jesus for it.
Now, I want mom involved in selecting a bride for Bilson because I love her. We got the little list down of what I want and they are not things I'm not willing to offer! I told momma to give me THAT! Proverbs 31:10-31 baby! OH YEAH! You find me that and I'll do it! BRING HER ON!
BILMA! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!
Oh and we are also praying AGAINST the following wife:
“…a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)
“…a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” (Proverbs 19:13)
“…Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 21:19)
“…Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” (Proverbs 21:19)
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 25:24)
Oh Momma! No thank you!
Thanks for taking the time to hang out with me this Valentine’s Day. I’m sure most of you are spending time with you loved ones… One day, I will to. Until than, Ta Ta for now and keep reaching for the stars!