The Journey: I've Got My Eye On The Goal
- By Benita Joy
- Published 02/15/2008
Benita Joy is a Malayalee Christian and serves as the Chief Editor for South Asian Connection. She is a woman of faith, gifted in the area of leadership and administration, and has a heart for world missions. Her desire is to live a life that is pure and to serve God's purposes in her generation. Benita is pursuing a double major in English and Psychology at the University of British Columbia. She loves big cities, chai, the internet, roller coasters, international cuisines, music, and hanging out with friends. She is the youngest member of Team SAC, plays guitar with a baby pink pick (Yikes!), and she's not much taller than your average dwarf (don't tell her that).
As you may have gathered from recent posts, I have been doing a bit of traveling in the last few weeks. From Atlanta to Maryland to Portland to Vancouver to Singapore--where I currently am. And next week, it will be onwards to India. God has been so faithful.
Maryland was a great break from the routine. Enjoyed hanging out with my little cousins and it was refreshing to be able to talk about life and the somewhat "deeper" stuff with my Aunt. Usually opening up such conversations with family members is on the whole depressing. But this was different and I thank God for it.
Portland and Generation Unleashed was a much needed jolt out of the rut I knew I was in but couldn't find a way out of. God spoke. God confirmed. And God deposited in me the strength I would need to transition into this new season of my life.
And then came Vancouver, which was probably the most painful. Dealing with the stuff of life is always painful at some level and this whole trip has been quite the emotional journey. Vancouver was bittersweet. It was great to be back and hang out with friends and laugh again. But it was also a time of finding a sense of closure and God pulling up the roots which run deep and preparing me for a replanting.
I spent most of the week with Simi, but also got some time with Mia. I cannot thank God enough for these two. Being around them, I feel complete; and each moment is so beautiful and precious, sometimes it takes my breath away and I have no words. I also thank God for Ronnie and Sheba, they've become family to me. Mom and Niki also flew into Vancouver to see me off (and I had spent time with Ashish the week before in Portland). That too was difficult.
Sitting on the flight, I wondered how I would be able to enjoy Singapore if all I could was think about the past and all the people I wouldn't be seeing for a while. And then it occurred to me that the strength to persevere through this transition wouldn't arise out of my capabilities but by the grace of God.
It's been a process of putting aside all thoughts of "what could've been" and slowly letting go of all other relationships in order that I might draw my strength and inspiration from God alone. And His grace has been sufficient. I feel like I'm walking closer to Jesus than ever before and somehow the void usually filled by family and friends is now occupied by the Saviour.
In no way am I suggesting that things are smooth and perfect...I'm human and I struggle. But I press on...
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back."
Phil. 3:12-14 (The Message)