My friend Kuru Chandy from Lucknow has sent me the following, which he says has been doing the rounds since last year. But it is so good/funny/tragic that I have decided to include it here:

"Stop this madness: The Westernisation of Child Rearing"
School 1960 vs. School 2008

SCENARIO 1 - Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1960 Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2008 Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, AVOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

SCENARIO 2 - Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1960 Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2008 Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

SCENARIO 3 - Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1960 Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2008 Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

SCENARIO 4- Mark, a student, chews gum in class

1960 Mark shares gum with the school principal.

2008 Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

SCENARIO 5 - Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1960 Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2008 Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

SCENARIO 6- Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1960 Ants die.

2008 Security and ASIO are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

SCENARIO 7 - Raju I.M. Indian fails high school English.

1960 Raju gets special coaching in Remedial English, passes and goes to college.

2008 Raju's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Raju is allowed to pass anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Prabhu Guptara

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