The critical spirit can be a poison that enters a person's spirit that gradually destroys. It creeps in easily without notice, and once it latches on you, it'll grow inside and take over you. The only way to stop this is to destroy it by the root. No wonder Apostle Paul warns us about not harboring a critical spirit. At the moment, I can't find the exact verse or reference in front of me but I'm sure as a fellow believer, you know what I'm talking about.

I'm going through a phase of spiritual confusion. I've been faced with the most difficult challenge. I have no strength. Sometimes, I want to give up. (I'm sure God can always use someone else. It's not that I'm the only person in the world). I actually wished I'd fall asleep and never wake up again.

Then, I see bad things happen to other good people and wonder how could this be? Things that are happening don't make sense. I've been made promises by leaders (to me and others) and none happened or followed through. Instead of realizing that leaders are also people like me, I took it to the other extreme and started criticizing. I believe some points are valid but I'm not sure how to handle things the right way. I don't want to be a blind follower of others either. As a growing person, I want to know for myself if it's true.

However, the wrong attitudes can really take you another direction. In a way, I'm glad I realized this before I ended up in a places where I wouldn't want to be. Right now, I'm desperately needing answers. I have the truth so why am I like this? I'm not understanding a certain situation of life. Life happens.

(Note: Just because I went to Bible College for 2 years, that doesn't make an 'expert'. I don't intend to be one. My point of existence is to show that I'm an ordinary person that would be messed up if it wasn't for God)

Ephesians 4:31-2 : Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Indu Shanmugam